Singleton Ranting
It is Friday night and I just got back from the Alvarez Christmas party. It was such a good time. I love Marvin and Julia...they are fantastic peeps. It was nice to talk to people that I have not talked to in awhile. An old friend was there. We talked for a few minutes, she asked the dreaded question that all singletons hate...especially singletons who have convinced themselves that they are "content" with single status, only to have that belief be shattered at the mere forming of the question..."So are you seeing anyone?" Oh please let there be another five words that one could ask following the work questions. Will there ever be a time where someone will ask about your health, spiritual well-being, or maybe a "what's new with you". Let me tell you...it is much better to answer the question before it is asked, rather than answering it after. There is a sense of control in the former. You are together enough to recognize that there are other things that are more important than a significant other and the victim is able to mention those before feeling like a complete lackey without having a man.In addition to all of that to hear,"I know that there is a guy out there for you." Good for you...glad someone believes it. I am just at the place where I am accepting the things I cannot change, and trying to find the courage to change the things I can. I do not control the hand and mind of God. He sees my heart and when it is time, it will be time. I have officially decided to not look or be girly anymore. I am done. Done done done.
I brought my friend Dan with me to the party, which was nice. It felt nice to not be alone in the midst of all of the marrieds. I hate being alone in those situations. Glad I went, glad he was willing to go even though we were supposed to watch a movie. It was nice to not feel alone.
I was talking with Jesus in the car and I know He knows what's up. I know He knows how fickle I am, sometimes I want marriage, sometimes I don't. I know He knows what is best, even when I don't. In all honesty it would feel nice not to feel alone in this big crazy adventure, to have a partner in crime, but at the times I really like being single.
I not going to think about this anymore tonight...
posted by Kat @ 10:54 PM
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