Sitting in bed this morning...
for 15 mins after my alarm went off thinking about Jeff again. I remembered this time about a year after he left that I was leading youth group on a sultry summer evening. I had planned alot of outdoor water activities that summer because it was so hot. I was bustling around the room trying to get all the kids organized and ready to go out. Jimmy John entered the room with Jeff. He was in town and dropped by to see JJ who thought I would like to see him as well.I remember I was furious. One, I was extremely busy with all of these teenagers to be able to really focus on anything else, especially a visitor who Two, was formerly known as the person that I loved with all of my heart and was going to spend the rest of my life with and after a year and a half decided that he was not sure he knew what love was. Hence the surprise visit lead to me feel frazzled as I tried to focus on that evenings agenda.
I am thinking way too much about the past and church. Most of my think time is consumed with the past, church, giftings and how I am to play a part in that. I wish I could stop thinking about it. It is starting to get annoying.
Today was the first morning after months of this that I realized maybe if I reconciled some of these thoughts I would not think about them so much.
Smart thought huh?
posted by Kat @ 6:21 AM
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