Thursday...
Long walks with Jake today...good exercise. We had a good day. I just love him so much. Yeah I am a tad attatched. Screwed when I need to transfer schools...Looking into grad schools right now. I am still thinking about Seattle grad school. It has been in the back of my mind since...Sept. I think. I will have to go back and read my blogs. Actually it was there from the beginning but then I remembered all of the reasons I love PDX...yep that is the crappy part. I would have to leave here. I think I need to sit down with a counselor and discuss exactly what I want to do and then figure out what it will look like either way...Seattle or PDX. I am pretty sure if I transfer to a SEA school it will push out my graduation date a tad further which would hinder grad school plans. I think it would be fun to live somewhere new though...maybe finish school at UW, do really well and apply to a REALLY good grad schools. My brother was telling me where he applied, Penn State, UCLA, and some other pretty good schools. I guess I should decide exactly what I want to do, because then if I need to get into a good school I am going to need to start doing community volunteer work. My brother has his art that will get him in, I will have my grades and my charismatic personality...yeah right.
I called the church(Mosaic) today because I wanted to try to set up a meeting with a pastor to talk about my church questions. I know that because they are a huge church, they are extremely busy, so I felt bad for even asking. I talked to the youth pastor, who was really great. We were going to set up a time for coffee, but both our schedules are really busy, so we are going to meet up on Sunday. I am still praying about where I am supposed to be, which seems a little silly, because I feel like God said I could go...but there is a choice to be made. I have been praying, reading my bible, and I think bottom line is that I don't want to make a decision because of past hurt and bitterness. I think this week God has really been showing me that people do change, He is in control, and I need to trust him. Yet there are somethings that I see at Mosaic that would be beneficial. I realized over the last couple of weeks that I can identify leadership in people. I saw it in Jimmy John when we worked together, and there was this ability to lead God's people in a way that I admired and inspired me to want to do everything I can to support him and free him up to walk in his gifting. I saw it in Wayne. I saw that in Brian Jeanseau, and still same thing. I see it at Mosaic and it inspires me. I believe in the church again, I see greatness, I see the ability for change, and I feel hopeful about me being able to lead again someday. That has to be a good thing. I can also see why perhaps that might be attractive because that is where I came from the beauty of organized church. I love it. I love everything from the pews, to the bulletin, and the greeters at the door. I love the perfected orchestrated worship, great teachings, being challenged, I love it, love it, love it. It is funny that I find depth in a place where I thought I could never again find it.
posted by Kat @ 10:43 PM
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