Anxiety
I have been filled with anxiety for a week now. My period was late and after two pregnancy tests(both negative) and no period I began to think there was something severely wrong with me. Turns out I just needed to be patient and wait.I have also been filled with anxiety about going to Hawaii. We leave on the 22nd for three weeks and I am feeling sick about it. I hate being away from home and I am just dreading it. I should not be dreading a FREE trip to Hawaii...but I am. I don't like the idea of being away from my husband for three weeks. THREE WEEKS!!! This morning I woke up at 5am and ordered a bunch of stuff on oldnavy.com. I needed a few tank tops and flip flops for the trip. This is the first time my anxiety has caused me to get up at an odd hour of the morning.
Another thing I have been obsessing about is our future. Carter and I both realized last week that living in the suburbs is just not us. We are not suburb people. We currently live in this beautiful new townhouse with a pool, hot tub, workout facility and is within a mile of my work. Sounds like a dream huh? I have realized in the last week that I am dying in the suburbs. I hate that we drive 30 minutes every sunday for church. I hate that we don't get involved with groups because it is too much to drive through rush hour traffic during the week. I hate that I everytime I go into the city I feel alive again..even if I am only driving on the freewat admiring the view.
Through this obsession I think we have realized we are not happy with our current situations. We are both feeling discontent at the same time so we are going to be praying and see what God might have us do. We have been talking about moving and I don't know what that looks like right now. We have been discussing the possibility of moving to California for a couple of years but we are not really sure what is what right now. I think that we are just walking along hoping that we get a little direction so that we don't feel as if we are wandering aimlessly through a forest with no compass.
I hope this anxiety goes away so I can begin to sleep at a normal hour again.
posted by Kat @ 11:32 PM
