Honesty, Transparency and Acceptance
For the past couple of weeks I have been processing through an issue I had in relationship with a friend. It was really gut-wrenching for me because I had to look into things I didn't want to look into-specifically into the things that I want in a relationship. For me the top three things are: Honesty, Transparency and Love/Acceptance. I think that love and acceptance go together so I didn't give them each their own category. When I realized that these were three things that I valued I began to ask myself the following questions:
1) What does it mean for me to be honest in a relationship? Am I able to be completely honest with this person or do I withhold?
2) Am I able to be transparent with this person? Can this person see through me and give me accountability in areas?
3) Can I be myself completely and have this person still love me and accept me even if I am different?
I put all of my friendships in this grid and realized so many of my relationships do fit into the things that I value (whew). It did make me realize how I need to work through issues with people as soon as they happen or right when my feelings are hurt rather than bursting out of frustration when something negative happens. I also realized (again) that issues that bug you need to be addressed right away rather than not being talked about because it just makes things more difficult later.
Overall it was a healthy processing time for me to get down to the core in another part of my life.
Priorities, Values and Time
I have spend a great amount of time over this last extended weekend while reading and spending time with friends and family to begin my process of establishing my priorities. My goal is to figure out what are priorities and values and organize my time in such a way that they are aligned with each other. I have a whole list of things that are important to me, but often I focus on the ones I like rather than the ones I don't. For instance one of the things I value is being active. I love being busy and doing things outside of our house with Ezra. Lately we have been doing activities outside everyday when Ez and I are at home, but I really want to include Daddy in our fun times.
My Values and PrioritiesBeing a loving gushy Mommy who delights in my child. I want to be near him and give him as much physical affection and verbal praise that he will allow me to:) (As a child I lacked this so I am very intentional about this)
Being a patient loving wife who listens to my husband. (As a child I also did not have this modeled, so I am WORKING on this BIG time)
Being an active healthy family. Over the course of the last couple of weeks I have felt better than ever eating the way we have and I hope to continue to find ways to nourish and care for my family in healthy ways-both physically and practicing emotionally health as well. When Carter and I have conflict I have been really intentional about allowing Ez see us work it out and make up and kiss in the end.
Taking care of my needs and looking to the needs of my family. I suck at this big time. I can be such a martyr sometimes and I really am working in this specifically to the needs of my husband.
Building healthy relationships and community. I really struggle with being vulnerable with new people but I am working on it and trying to build relationships with other Mom's so Ezra will have friends and also being active in church again. It is so hard to stick to this one especially when we are exhausted or super busy.
I am realizing that just with the ones listed there is a lot of work and time that will go into this and I am looking forward to organizing more of my life to be able to focus my time accordingly.
