Lessons on Church for Kat #1-Shifts in Style and Structure from Traditional Vineyard
I don’t even really know how to describe what is going on with me in regard to this thing called Vineyard. I think it has been a frustration of mine for a while and I just have not been able to articulate it. There are also so many layers. So I will try to be as organized as possible.I want to see what else there is outside of this thing called Vineyard. I am bored of all of the same scriptures that make up Vineyard theology, all of the same thoughts, I feel like I need something new. I don’t have the energy to jump through hoops. I am sick of feeling like I need to “be” a certain way to plant a church. That I am “too emotional” or need to have a “church plan” to plant a church...or whatever it may be. The church that I dream about planting does not require me to have a staff of 15-20 people and a hierarchical system. Leadership team? What is that? Is that encouraging others to walk in their giftings? What is leadership?I think leadership is influencing people. I led women’s ministry for a while and it sucked. Wanna know why? Cause I was not walking freely in my giftings the way I was created to do so. I am tired of all of the same answers. What about people getting together in a room being friends and encouraging each other toward Christ. How non-emotional do you need to be to hang out with your friends? Why can this not be church? Why does it need to grow and get bigger? Why does it need to become an establishment?
This is who I am. This morning I had church with my friend Kelly. Did we plan it? Did we say that we were going to have 30 minutes of music, 5 for announcements, and 35 for a message? No. I went over to her house and we talked about her journey and what God is doing in her. She played for me the beautiful new song that she is writing that had more depth and life to it than any “Jesus Lead On” track could ever capture. She made me a CD of all of her God music. The Top 40 Christian worship songs? No. Her “secular”(I hate that word) music that she found depth about God and Jesus in. It is a great CD. Her room was decorated with all of the things that she loved, she cherished, and God was there. We went to Cafe Destino for coffee and then went to the Flower Circles in Ladd’s Addition, and talked about life, God, and random things. We ran into her friend Sarah at the exact time we were talking about Sarah and how everyone in our life might be there for a reason. It was as if time stopped as we stood embracing the Mystery in the slow movements of the gentle breeze. The sun seemed to shine a bit brighter. The sky a bit bluer. I could feel His presence lingering as we spoke.This is church to me folks. As scary, different, and non-structured as it seems...this is my dream. This is the beginning of the plant. Do you know how miraculous it is to see God communicate with people? People that did not communicate with him and now do? I am awed by the grace that we are given to be able to behold such beauty! Do you see how tender and precious each of these moments are? This is church to me. That is why I have a hard time thinking Vineyard is my home. This is not a norm in the Vineyard. I don’t have the energy to build up the machine, when things are being produced around me and all I have to do is love and speak truth.
One thing that is taught in the Vineyard is that we value diversity in the church, that all the churches are free to walk in own style and structure. Why is it that everyone is beginning to look the same to me?
posted by Kat @ 12:31 PM
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