Weirdo Dream Thoughts #1
I had this dream last night that caused me to think. I was going to an ELI event, not because I wanted to but because part of me wanted to believe that I could give this whole Vineyard thing a shot again. I missed the first evening and the next morning was hanging out in this coffee shop that I have dreamed about before. It is fairly large with alot of light coming in, very mod style, and bright. It is located near the homes of Nigel and Kim Carter, Wayne and Connie Purdom, and Jimmy John and Donna Morris(all old friends from Yakima), but it is in SE Portland, up near where the Sapphire Hotel is on Hawthorne.I am sitting out on the patio area and W & C, do not see me sitting at the table next to them. Wayne sees me, gets up, and pinches me on the arm as I am thinking what an obnoxious asshole he is. I decide that because of this I will go to that evenings event rather than skipping out. I was having coffee with E.W. and listening to her once again bitch about the church.
We arrived at this quasi-amphitheatre place at the Vancouver Vineyard. They were listing the different workshops that were being taught. EW went off to spew her agenda once again and I sat and listened. There was a workshop being taught about blogging by Katrina Delarosa. I was confused and realized that there was another K.D. that would be teaching. The woman walked up at first appearing older, but at closer look she looked exactly like me. In fact she was me. She went up and said she decided not to teach and that she needed someone to fill in. I volunteered. I walked forward and she went to hand me her notes that were bullet pointed and I thought I will try to use these but I don't think I will. She began to change her mind and pulled them back. I told her that I could do it and I didn't need her because I am the original Kat and I don't need a double.
I stepped up to the podium and I didn't look at the notes and I shared from my heart. I shared about how blogging was a meditative thing for me. As I hear the clicking of the keys on my laptop, as I fall into the rhythm of creating, telling my story, being heard without having to speak. I let out all of my emotion, raw, unashamed and honest.
There were alot of people not listening and I was ok with that. The old me would have been really irritated. The new me sees that my job is not to get people to listen, my job is to speak. To create. To live. God will turn their ears if it is to be heard.
posted by Kat @ 12:46 PM
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