Compassion and the heart of Santa
Yesterday was World AIDS day. I was going to remember to wear my white ONE bracelet but I forgot, I was going to light a candle for the hurting people in Africa with this horrendeous disease and again I forgot. The only moment of remembering yesterday was a silent feeble prayer to the heavens asking for Him to make things better.Over the last few weeks I have been in a funk. I have been grumpy, discontent and trying to keep my head above water. I have been busy before but this is just ridiculous. We had a fabulous Thanksgiving and I am very thankful that it is over. I am heading into finals and I am so thankful it is almost over. I have two major projects and a test and I will have a break for a few weeks. We have some things set for the wedding and that makes me feel a bit more mellow.
Yesterday while at the mall I was overcome with compassion. I was walking around with Carter and I was recalling all of these instances where I was lacking compassion or I was too busy to stop and recognize what was going on in people around me, too busy to look outside of myself. I hated this. It was as if I was been flooded with all of this stuff and realizing the person that I have been lately is not the person that I want to become. I also realize that busyness is from the devil.
Last year I was able to stop and take time to process. This year I feel like I can't...but I know I need to. I was reminded of this by Jake yesterday. We were walking through Fred Meyer when he says to me,"Santa is alive in our hearts, Kat." Now I don't want to kill his creativity but at the same time we came back home and I realized it was time to start indoctrinating him with the baby Jesus stuff. Now we are talking about Christmas being a big birthday party for Jesus and just like his birthday we have pizza and presents on Jesus birthday we all celebrate. I think we are going to make a birthday cake for Jesus. I also bought the Veggie Tales Star of Christmas. I am all about the brainwashing.
After a day of analysis I realize it is not so bad to think of the spirit of Santa living in our hearts. I believe that same Spirit that motivated Bishop Nicholas of Smyrna(now Turkey), who was benevolent toward children, is the same Spirit that motivates us with compassion today. It is the very same heart that causes us to leap up with care for those less fortunate, those who are without.
This is the Spirit that I want with me as I continue to carve out room for things more important than me.
posted by Kat @ 1:23 PM
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