Summer of love, pain, and lots of reading
My plan for the summer was to read. Currently there are 15 books on my must read list and I just added the Palmer book and four books on spiritual abuse and co-dependency. I also had plans to write this summer about where I am at, what is shifting in me, and where I think I am headed. I planned to spend alot of down time, which is much needed. My friend Sarah finally pinned it down for me when she said, "You are an outgoing introvert and are re-energized by having alone time." It is very true and I guess I had never really looked at why I freaked out when I did not have alone time. This is definitely causing some minor issues in the whole dating relationship scene. Carter is amazing and understanding when we are in the car and I say, "Can we have some quiet time?" or when "I just need to stay home and write." He is so patient and loves me the way Jesus loves me through it...even when I am grumpy.I don't really get why God chose this time for him to make the grand entrance into my life because I am supposed to be spending the summer working through some identity/performance/pride/shame issues. I am supposed to be allowing God to love me in unlovely places, and to begin the healing process in regard to my Mergy Church/past church hurt issues. Lately it seems as if all of these things that I have been thinking and that God has been trying to communicate for years are finally clicking together. The time where I need most to focus on allowing God to love me in hard areas is the time that I begin to fall in love with an amazing guy who is completely in love with me.
Maybe Jesus knows that I need alot of love during this time and that is why he is here.
posted by Kat @ 10:40 PM
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