Water to the Desert
There are moments in my life that I call, "Know that I know" moments. They are these times where everything seems as if a 60watt has come on from overhead and all the light has made everything known. What was not known or hidden is seen...Thursday evening was my last Philosophy of Religion class. During this quarter I have built several relationships with people, a couple I hope will last. All year we have had different people presenting topics that seem to have pitted the believers against the nonbelievers. I found myself all quarter in the middle, committed to one camp, yet feeling protective of the other. It felt like my army was shooting at the other side and I was crossing the lines to care for the wounds and encourage them that our Commander does not want to harm them...even though the army was killing them. It's hard to describe that the Commander really does have good intentions when the people who are committed to him are assholes.
I sat down with MBC Exclusivist boy before class and he proceeded to tell me that he has been trying to figure out,"where I am at" to know if I was a "sister". I spouted out the correct bible answer so we wouldn't argue. There wasn't any room for me to truly share of myself, but I tried a little. He told me that he felt really betrayed by the things that I said, like I was stabbing him in the back(oh the drama). Whenever people make broad dramatic comments like this...my radar goes off. I apologized and said it was not my intention to make him feel this way and I was sorry if I hurt him. Jake, agnostic boy who grew up in a christian house, came and sat down and talked about women in ministry. I sat there so proud of Jake. He is 20 and one of the smartest people I have ever met. I felt this overwhelming urge to hug him and so I did and said,"You will do great things, O wise Jacob." I was feeling very Obi-Wan at that point.
Later in class I looked around and noted all of the people I hung out with this term. Lacey, the gentle, passionate agnostic, who encouraged me to do what I preach. Heidi, the beautiful, funny lesbian, who was surprised I didn't freak out when she told me she had a girlfriend..."Cause your a Christian right?!?!?". Christy, the woman who wants to believe, but has not found any christians who were not annoying. Then Alisha. Wonderful mother, wife, full-time student. She is the girl that made my heart leap..funny, bright who knows God talks to her and avoiding Christians cause she doesn't want to get fawked up.
MBC guy....connected with the Christians. They all sat in the same area, he pulled out his bible while people were presenting. He cited scripture. It was Thursday night, that I had a picture of what is naturally happening around me. It is not the ones that are saved I connected with, but the ones who are seeking, digging beneath the crevaces and cracks of the couch of humanity looking for loose change. Looking for something of value, meaning, or at least something to buy them a good cup of joe. I hope that I can continue to dig with them.
I am not called to take the waters of life we have been given to the ocean, I am called to take it to the desert. To the barren, dry, cracked land. The places that need it most.
That is me.
posted by Kat @ 9:21 AM
<< Home