This thing called love
Sometimes I spout off pretty little thoughts to God about how much I love Him. It is goes a something like this:Kat: God I love you. I love what you are about. Why do I love what you are about? Oh probably cause I love you. Your mission is so worth living for. Your mission is so worth living and dying for. Well maybe not the dying part...that whole sacrifice thing is kinda hard to get my mind around. I don’t get that whole “giving everything” thing. I know I should...but I still don’t because there is so much that I love it is hard to think about letting it go...but I guess I logically understand why...or maybe it is that I want to get it...but I really don’t.
God: Umm yeah ok.
Yesterday I was walking in a park with “Jake”, the little boy I nanny and I was singing the “I love you” song. The song consists of me singing, “ I love you” in the silliest voice possible until he replies to my adoration with the same goofy toned, “I love you”. Most of the time I imagine he thinks his nanny is smothering him with all of this love, but it is the most adorable thing when he says, “I love you”. He was walking ahead of me in the freshly cut green grass as my song poured forth. He looked back at me as if I were retarded. He is too young to be looking at me like that. I kept on singing....he would occasionally turn around and look at me with a little grin. After singing what seemed like forever of my love for him he stopped. He turned around and fully acknowledged me. I squat down to the ground with my arms out and he ran to me, threw his little chubby arms around my neck and said, “I love you Kat.” He then continued down the path, looking over his shoulder to make sure that I was near.
It seems as if daily through this tiny creature, I am learning more about God’s love and provision for me. I keep on walking, He keeps on watching. He sings to me the songs of deliverance, songs of peace, songs of love and sometimes I listen and am in tune to the melodies, sometimes I am not. If I stop long enough, if I wait and turn around I see that He is ever present, ever faithful, ever just, despite my wandering. Cause all He really wants is me. All He really wants is to feel my arms around Him, burying my head into His neck and to sing to him, “ I love you.” And I do.
posted by Kat @ 7:35 PM
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