Moment with God
I had this moment the other day where I was playing the piano and singing my heart out to God. I cannot remember exact wording but it went a little something like this:I love you. This I cannot deny. What I do not love is faking my life. What I do not love is feeling like I need to be a certain way in order to have relationship with you. Feeling like you have a set agenda of how I am supposed to perform in order to be in relationship with you. Feeling pressure to do things that I at times do not want to do. So this is where I am at God. I don't want to fake it. I just want to love you and have that be enough. I want to be honest with myself cause all of this time...you know where I have been and you loved me.
This is why I am changing. This is why I am bitter. I am bitter toward myself for faking it and angry toward people that have not loved me or accepted me unless I were doing things their way.
More processing...
posted by Kat @ 12:47 PM
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